Today marks 6yrs since dad died. I normally don't tend to think alot about it when it comes up but its been a habit for me since. I think it was the 3rd yr, when we were living at the previous house is when I think it hit me the most somehow. I know we were on our way into town and I just felt this wave of sadness hit me and I wanted to sit there and cry, though I didn't know why. Then I got to thinking about what day it was and realized why I was feeling that way. I haven't had that kind of feeling since though I'm sure it might hit me again later in the yrs.
I could do a whole write up about him but I won't get into it too much. There are times when I look at pics or think of him and I feel as if I barely have anymore memories of him. Granted he didn't do much with us girls as being a fatherly role but at least I can say I HAD a father in our household. I don't know if my memories are so hazy cause of being away from home since '96 or what but when I got the news when I was in Kuwait, it took quite a bit to sink in. I guess I never thought any of my parents would be taken from us so early.
I'll just put a few things and a pic behind a cut so as not to hog up ppl's space.
You should see the reactions from my doctors and ppl I talk to when I tell them that dad was 50 when he died. He had a massive heart attack at home the morning of the 23rd and mom found him that morning when she came home from work *sighs*. My middle sis felt so horrible cause the night before, dad and her got into a squabble and to her, that was the last memory she or dad had before his passing.
Dad was diagnosed with bad health about early '92-93 when he had a slight heart attack then and had the surgery where they take the vein out of your leg and put into your heart. It was then that they also told him he was diabetic (runs in his family anyways) and deterioration of the hips and spine probably from all the heavy lifting at the farm. I know he also had poor circulation cause he would complain about his legs or his feet not getting enough blood to them. Plus he was a smoker, which I'm sure helped spurned on his attack. My bro in law told me when he picked me up at the airport that dad went through a carton of cigs in about 3 days O_______O, he started to smoke alot more near the end.
I feel bad when I think about how bubba never really got to spend much time with dad. Bubba saw him about 3 times since we were dating (including the wedding) but at least dad got bubba TRASHED X-mas eve '97. BOTH were soo drunk and dad was going around saying "thats my boy!" and rambling about being in the family now, etc etc.(keep in mind we weren't even engaged yet) I'm glad my older sis was recording stuff that yr cause she still has it on tape.
Dad lived a hard life but though him passing on is sad, at least he got to live his life to the fullest that made him happy near the end::
-Seeing me join the Army and be there for my basic training graduation
-He really took a liking to bubba pretty quick
but I think he experienced his happiness the yr he died.
-Gave me away at my wedding.
-4 days later, the first grandchild and BOY was born into the family. (my older sis's kid)
-Mom and Dad had their 29th anniversary 4 days before his death.
Though with this pic, this was the last time I saw him alive.

Sorry about the poor quality of the pic, I had to take it with the digital camera since the scanner isn't hooked up. And not to sound morbid, but he was also buried with that same outfit, only cause that was the only dressy outfit he had. And yes, as you couldn't tell, that is my mom next to bubba. Man, bubba looked so handsome back then too, I wonder what happened now? *lol* Mom never really changed even after 6yrs in that pic. She'll be 52 in Sept and the only thing that did change is a few grey spots in her hair. And dad always looked weird when he smiled cause of his false teeth. We never got use to him wearing them.
When I go home for vacation, it still feels weird, not only cause of mom living in a different house but you kinda expect dad to be sitting in the recliner watching tv & smoking or sleeping in it. Plus its kinda quiet too at home except for the traditional bickering my mid. sis and I do since after all, she starts it all ^_~ (and I'm not just saying that, its TRUE!) When they got rid of the farm, we use to go out Sun mornings either for breakfast or later Sunday afternoon after dinner we'd go out and just drive around the countryside (just mom, dad, and me). I miss that the most.
Ya know, I guess I went against my word and did seem to write quite a bit.
And on the "Only Beck would do something like that" front, I sneezed pretty hard last night and put my right shoulder out of whack. It hurts to the point where I just wanna smack it into a wall to make the pain go away. Blond moment, I know.
I could do a whole write up about him but I won't get into it too much. There are times when I look at pics or think of him and I feel as if I barely have anymore memories of him. Granted he didn't do much with us girls as being a fatherly role but at least I can say I HAD a father in our household. I don't know if my memories are so hazy cause of being away from home since '96 or what but when I got the news when I was in Kuwait, it took quite a bit to sink in. I guess I never thought any of my parents would be taken from us so early.
I'll just put a few things and a pic behind a cut so as not to hog up ppl's space.
You should see the reactions from my doctors and ppl I talk to when I tell them that dad was 50 when he died. He had a massive heart attack at home the morning of the 23rd and mom found him that morning when she came home from work *sighs*. My middle sis felt so horrible cause the night before, dad and her got into a squabble and to her, that was the last memory she or dad had before his passing.
Dad was diagnosed with bad health about early '92-93 when he had a slight heart attack then and had the surgery where they take the vein out of your leg and put into your heart. It was then that they also told him he was diabetic (runs in his family anyways) and deterioration of the hips and spine probably from all the heavy lifting at the farm. I know he also had poor circulation cause he would complain about his legs or his feet not getting enough blood to them. Plus he was a smoker, which I'm sure helped spurned on his attack. My bro in law told me when he picked me up at the airport that dad went through a carton of cigs in about 3 days O_______O, he started to smoke alot more near the end.
I feel bad when I think about how bubba never really got to spend much time with dad. Bubba saw him about 3 times since we were dating (including the wedding) but at least dad got bubba TRASHED X-mas eve '97. BOTH were soo drunk and dad was going around saying "thats my boy!" and rambling about being in the family now, etc etc.(keep in mind we weren't even engaged yet) I'm glad my older sis was recording stuff that yr cause she still has it on tape.
Dad lived a hard life but though him passing on is sad, at least he got to live his life to the fullest that made him happy near the end::
-Seeing me join the Army and be there for my basic training graduation
-He really took a liking to bubba pretty quick
but I think he experienced his happiness the yr he died.
-Gave me away at my wedding.
-4 days later, the first grandchild and BOY was born into the family. (my older sis's kid)
-Mom and Dad had their 29th anniversary 4 days before his death.
Though with this pic, this was the last time I saw him alive.

Sorry about the poor quality of the pic, I had to take it with the digital camera since the scanner isn't hooked up. And not to sound morbid, but he was also buried with that same outfit, only cause that was the only dressy outfit he had. And yes, as you couldn't tell, that is my mom next to bubba. Man, bubba looked so handsome back then too, I wonder what happened now? *lol* Mom never really changed even after 6yrs in that pic. She'll be 52 in Sept and the only thing that did change is a few grey spots in her hair. And dad always looked weird when he smiled cause of his false teeth. We never got use to him wearing them.
When I go home for vacation, it still feels weird, not only cause of mom living in a different house but you kinda expect dad to be sitting in the recliner watching tv & smoking or sleeping in it. Plus its kinda quiet too at home except for the traditional bickering my mid. sis and I do since after all, she starts it all ^_~ (and I'm not just saying that, its TRUE!) When they got rid of the farm, we use to go out Sun mornings either for breakfast or later Sunday afternoon after dinner we'd go out and just drive around the countryside (just mom, dad, and me). I miss that the most.
Ya know, I guess I went against my word and did seem to write quite a bit.
And on the "Only Beck would do something like that" front, I sneezed pretty hard last night and put my right shoulder out of whack. It hurts to the point where I just wanna smack it into a wall to make the pain go away. Blond moment, I know.